| nws_cars2.oxt | 1.41 | 0xC26561F3 | Funerals get flavor as bodies are put in action poses. |
| nws_cars2.oxt | 1.41 | 0xD1D7FEA4 | Shelia Hitano - Daily Globe<br>The phone wars were fought and won long ago and only losers wait in line for phones anymore, but Dukes resident Sean Douglass won't hear any of that. "I love Ifruit. Why is everyone being so mean to a company that is an American success story?" Douglass asked.<br>The reason, many say, is that the company uses all kinds of loopholes to avoid paying tax, it's products are mostly used by elitists, and they completely change charger ports on you, forcing the purchase of a bunch of new ones. Douglass says he will remain in line, despite what appears to be the first stages of leprosy. |
| nws_cars2.oxt | 1.41 | 0xEB463118 | Claudine Shorn - Senora Beacon<br>Four men and one woman died after a sex and drugs orgy in a condo in Paleto Bay seems to have gone badly wrong, thanks to a bad batch of heroin. Police, responding to neighbors reports of an unpleasant smell broke down the doors of the apartment to find 5 naked corpses, apparently engaged in a 'sex game' which unfortunately also involved injecting a dodgy smack. The one woman has been identified as Ashley Butler, 37, from Alderney. The four men have been identified as Lars Mitchell, 53, Tommy 'the Gun' Tamons, 59, Jude Melon, 58 and Eric Ainsworth, 85. All were local men with long histories of drug and legal problems. |
| nws_cars2.oxt | 1.41 | 0xFAAACFE1 | Jack Vinton - Starstalk<br>The messy breakdown of fading record producer Chad Mulligan's marriage, which we're proud to have played such an integral part in bringing about, got a little messier today when his rare Truffade Z-Type was carjacked in a Los Santos parking garage. Mulligan told reporters that he was lucky to survive the violent attack and that he will definitely be thinking twice about buying a 3,000,000 dollar car in the future. Was this a random robbery? Or was the assailant hired by Mulligan's wife to requisition the assets that he's trying to hide from the divorce settlement? I think we all know which is the more interesting story of the two, so that's the one we'll be reporting as fact over the coming weeks. Stay tuned. |
| nws_cars2.oxt | 1.41 | 0xFB6553FA | $3 million dollar car heist. |
| nws_cars3.oxt | 1.41 | 0x3287E471 | Immigrants to America: We're leaving, the dream is dead |
| nws_cars3.oxt | 1.41 | 0x52412EED | John Jackson - Talkin' Balls<br>The revelation that baseball legend Carl Wilkins used performance enhancing drugs before meaningless sex shouldn't come as a surprise. Many would like to pretend that there are no victims here -but we all are the victims. And in the end, when we see a man like Wilkins who can throw a ball real good, and we know he's ready at any moment to pop a line drive or a turgid erection, we need that to all feel better about ourselves. An impotent sports hero is no hero at all. |
| nws_cars3.oxt | 1.41 | 0xA2C1C4A3 | Criminal Caper in movie studio heist. |
| nws_cars3.oxt | 1.41 | 0xA1854D78 | Gavin McTavern - WNKA International<br>The American stock markets went screaming into negative and positive territory in rapid succession yesterday, with many worrying the world's largest economy is setting itself up for a doomsday scenario. The shaky American economy is causing a mass exodus of the country by many migrant workers and illegal immigrants. Raul Hernandez, a worker on a farm in San Andreas said, "I called my family, I tell them, this place is full of violent rednecks, the economy is falling apart. Stay home. Don't come to America. It is a lie." |
| nws_cars3.oxt | 1.41 | 0xB08C6038 | Carl Wilkins doping scandal - disgrace or hero? |