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nws_dckh.oxt1.410x7CB497B2Bucy Joe Houston - Senora Beacon<br>The FIB announced at a press conference yesterday that it had made major breakthroughs in countering money laundering, with several arrests in Vice City following a sting at a branch of Lombank that had been handling money for a drug dealer in the area. The Bureau did say, however that it believed there was an on-going problem with money laundering at smaller banks in rural areas, especially regions with known problems with drug trafficking. One of three regions singled out was Blaine County, where the bureau said it had suspicions about several overly-active local banks who had announced large profits in recent times, despite our region's on-going economic woes. Roy Buckley, mayor of Paleto Bay, accused the Bureau of "typical big city thinking. The fact is our region has many problems but you can't have it both ways - you call us inbred hicks who don't like to wash ourselves and then say we wash money. Well which is it? Do we wash or not?", then he put down the phone and said he was being taken for a ride in a helicopter by a local businessman in the import trade, before accepting a fully declared gift of a mansion.
nws_dckh.oxt1.410x9A33B8EFFIB claims money laundering rife in small banks across the country.
nws_dckh.oxt1.410x32AE69DECourt rules in favor of aging actor.
nws_dckh.oxt1.410x86C2ABCERick Simpson -Weazel News<br>Leslie Newberg started her morning off the way she normally does - some hot yoga, a vanilla latte, and a drive along the coast to work in her enormous SUV while listening to yacht rock. But yesterday her life was upended forever when she was involved in an accident caused by a rogue bicyclist. "He was riding on the street! Right in my lane! The road is for cars. I was honking and honking for him to pull off and let me pass. He wouldn't, so I gently nudged him with my bumper but slipped and scratched my face on my mobile phone quite badly as I was talking to my best friend stacy." Police are looking for the bicycle rider and asked residents to report any bicyclist on area roads.
nws_dckh.oxt1.410x693EF0C7Martina Bryans - Daily Rag<br>Actor Gordon Henderson is celebrating today in the only way he knows how, by sitting outside his home and waiting for the Vinewood Star Tours bus to pull by so he can bow and wave to cheers. The Los Santos Superior Court has awarded damages to the actor and ordered the tour company to include his home in their tour route once again. Some argue that star tours are a meaningless and shameful celebration of fleeting fame and excess. Others say that tourists love a celebrity sighting, why are you ruining all the fun, and stop waffling on the issues.
nws_dckh.oxt1.410xD844B50CContainership sinks into LS harbour: Merryweather fumble their first play.
nws_dckh.oxt1.410xEC69DD5AWoman scarred for life by lunatic cyclist.
nws_drf1.oxt1.410x3F98F10BForrest Simon - Daily Globe<br>Notorious Iconoclast Peter Dreyfuss has been found dead in an apparent vigilante hit after he was linked to the 1970s murder of a starlet. A reclusive and controversial genius, Dreyfuss enjoyed a career of spectacular highs and self inflicted lows. Now, he is dead and his reputation is in tatters after he was linked with the death of Leonora Johnson. Dreyfuss's movie career had been in hiatus for 30 years but he had apparently been preparing a comeback when rumors of a confession letter written by him to his former producer, the late David Richards, back to circulate. It seems this was enough for one vigilante who took matters into his own hands and killed Mr Dreyfuss. We would write a longer obituary but until we know which of the rumors are true and which are false, we don't want to make fools of ourselves.
nws_drf1.oxt1.410x31F158A5Death on two wheels.
nws_drf1.oxt1.410x31555484John Rios - Weazel News<br>Police Spokesman Lee Whitless held up a bent, mangled bicycle tire and announced to a crowd of journalists, "This is what happens when you make the wrong transit choices."<br>The wheel is from the bicycle of Jose Arnandez, a straight A college student who had everything going for him - until he made the foolish decision to ride a bike. Police are promising to ticket anyone on a major street on a bike.