| nws_exl1.oxt | 1.41 | 0xF90EAF4F | Forrest Simon - Daily Globe<br>The miracle of life has awed many over the years, and while ancient cultures put women who delivered twins to death for witchcraft, these days on shows like 'Pumpin' out Puppies', the more babies the better. On the new reality show contestants are impregnated with dozens of eggs and the contestant who delivers the most babies wins. Contestant Gloria Barker is expected to deliver 21 babies on the season finale. She plans to go on public assistance. |
| nws_exl3.oxt | 1.41 | 0x1BFEBACB | Anime stereotypes hot and exciting say manga fans. |
| nws_exl3.oxt | 1.41 | 0x50331897 | Rick Simpson - Weazel News<br>The future of Merryweather's high-value courier service, which was pitched to clients as guaranteed safe transportation of sensitive or precious cargo, lies in jeopardy today after one of their trains was derailed and robbed in Blaine County's Raton Canyon. The identity of the hijackers is still unknown. It is the latest in a series of teething problems for Merryweather's domestic operations but Don Percival assured us in a phone call that outsourcing security will still prove better for everyone in the long run. |
| nws_exl3.oxt | 1.41 | 0xAC26507C | Shelia Hitano - Daily Globe<br>She has eyes like saucers, enormous breasts, a silly laugh and colored hair. And when I dress up as her I become another person. Princess Robot Bubblegum may be a cartoon to some, but for those of us who cosplay - it is something entirely different. Cosplay is like Halloween, except all the time and really creepy. There is a backlash and threat to ban cosplay in public spaces following a number of recent incidents. But as a journalist and cosplay enthusiast, I encourage my fellow frustrated furries to rise up, don your plastic swords and arm canons, and do not let reality get in the way of your dreams. |
| nws_exl3.oxt | 1.41 | 0xBEE1F5F3 | John Jackson - Talkin' Balls<br>It's long been rumored to be popular with the extreme fitness and bodybuilding crowd, now one fitness guru, life style coach, entrepreneur and wiseman, Brucie Kibbutz is marketing Bullshark testosterone to a wider audience. With testosterone supplants having recently moved out of the weights room and into the bathroom of many over 45s, Mr Kibbutz is determined to help people and cash in. He told us "This extremely potent natural form of testosterone is a miracle cure for everything from lethargy and impotence to self doubt and empathy. I exercise up to 11 hours a day and I never get bored." |
| nws_exl3.oxt | 1.41 | 0xEE00DED0 | Newest PED on the Block - Bull Shark TESTOSTERONE. |
| nws_exl3.oxt | 1.41 | 0xFD577D7D | Train derails Merryweather profits. |
| nws_ext4.oxt | 1.41 | 0x40A0D681 | Leslie Gardner - Weazel News<br>The FIB held a press conference yesterday to complain that the war on drugs is being lost. Not only are people taking drugs and refusing to die quickly enough but also drugs are entering the country through a bewildering number of ways. Although we can use drones to spot an insurgent on the other side of the world we are completely incapable of stopping hundreds of tonnes of contraband from entering this country because drug dealers are just clever. Not only do they dig tunnels and use submarines but now they've start using animals as unwitting couriers. An agent at the conference told reporters he had spent all day fingering a herd of cows, and although he was yet to find any drugs he would keep up his vigil until he found something or other. |
| nws_ext4.oxt | 1.41 | 0x52F6FB2D | Forrest Simon - Daily Globe<br>A hedge fund whiz kid was found dead earlier near the Land Act Dam, in an extreme sports stunt gone horribly wrong. Dom Beasley, according to his Lifeinvader page, was a base-jumping fanatic who had become addicted to chasing ever more dangerous highs, quite possibly to over- compensate for his soulless existence in the banking industry and his lonely contribution to the human race. No parachute was found on Beasley's body, suggesting that he either jumped, was pushed, or was simply an idiot. |
| nws_ext4.oxt | 1.41 | 0x62C7CBC3 | Extreme Sports Jerk Plunges to Death. |