| nws_fin.oxt | 1.41 | 0xA1A1137A | Jerome Smith - Los Santos Shepherd<br>A notorious member of the Chamberlain Gangster Families gang was killed yesterday, only months after he was released on parole. Harold OG Stretch was shot while playing basketball. No witnesses have come forward. Mr. Joseph was unmarried. |
| nws_fra1.oxt | 1.41 | 0x606A035F | MC Clip Clipped. |
| nws_fra1.oxt | 1.41 | 0x2048D608 | Annie Frost - LS24<br>Rich residents are always looking for the next culinary kick and many have found it. Celebrity chef Michael Lee Rune was previously known for making donuts with diamonds in them. He's gone one better and introduced a $10,000 salad. Dismissing the protestors outside, Rune says he sympathizes and ignores hunger advocates who say he is encouraging spoiled cretins to feel better about themselves by wasting money that could be better spent on meaningful things. "This town is about celebrating the vain, the vapid, the vinaigrette, no?" Rune quipped. |
| nws_fra1.oxt | 1.41 | 0x3409FD8A | Mike Dunn - Daily Globe<br>Police in Blaine County are scratching their heads again. And not just because of the reduced IQs so prevalent up there. Another hiker has disappeared without a trace while walking in the Chiliad Mountain State Wilderness. Blaine County Sheriff's office spokesman Elmore Thickett told reporters "we continue to confuse and not just because we are dumb but also because this would be baffling even to someone of average intelligence or above. Looks at the facts - there are no facts. There is no body. There is no evidence. There is no crime. Yet someone is missing and so we have to act concerned even though we're not. No, don't write that. That's not what I meant." Police promised to keep looking for the hiker whose name was not released in case anyone found them before they did. |
| nws_fra1.oxt | 1.41 | 0x9254E734 | Another hiker goes missing in Hills. |
| nws_fra1.oxt | 1.41 | 0x44364AF8 | The Hottest Restaurant in Los Santos dishes up a cool $10,000 salad. |
| nws_fra1.oxt | 1.41 | 0xBBC28CED | Donna DeSimons - Los Santos Shepherd<br>MC Clip was killed yesterday after gangsters feeling a shootout in Davis overran a photoshoot and shot Clip dead before escaping on some Speedophiles. MC Clip, real name Curtis Cray turned his back to gangster life 3 years ago to embrace narcissistic consumption, and was about to release a new album when he was gunned down. Experts believe this will be a great career move, especially for a rapper with messianic delusions. Police are searching for 3 gang bangers on Speedophiles. |
| nws_jwlh.oxt | 1.41 | 0x0D7F823F | Fame or Shame is back! |
| nws_jwlh.oxt | 1.41 | 0x2BA7BE8F | NEW LEAD IN ROCKFORD HILLS JEWEL STORE JOB. |
| nws_jwlh.oxt | 1.41 | 0x6BE32712 | Gareth Wyn - Starstalk<br>The celeb judges are back and they are ready to tussle as doe-eyed wannabe stars set out to be judged by three has-beens. Everyone at Starstalk is excited about the new season of Fame or Shame. Hugh remains a moody Brit, Anita gushes and slurs her way through the show and life in general, while Imran shills products like no other judge can. We also have to defend the show's choice to continue with Lazlow as host. While many complain he's a neurotic mess, we like seeing the banter between him and Hugh. Is a romance brewing? We'll keep you posted! |